It’s late January.

Usually around this time of year, there’s a pulsing coming from my purse. I don’t pay attention to it, but like a heart beating in a horror movie, it won’t be ignored.

It’s my New Year’s Resolution List.

If I open my purse to root out a dusty M&M, the list smugly stares up, “didn’t you break up with blue food?”

My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds. In the middle, I list career goals and coveted shoes. Somewhere near the end I’ll add something about donating more often to charity and reducing my carbon footprint.